The biggest thing about diamonds are the myths surrounding them. I've covered diamond advertising myths before, but it can be truly difficult to cover the myths exhaustively. That's because there are so many of them. There are advertising myths, societal myths, myths about the tradition of diamond engagement myths and myths about the worth of diamonds. I've covered the history of engagement rings in a four page article that exposes the actual tradition of diamond engagement rings. Diamond advertising myths is one of those subjects that deserves it's own article, but is also important enough to include in any guide about buying a diamond engagement ring. In the future, I hope to give this subject it's own article and give the subject the attention it truly deserves. For the moment, I will be including numerous myths (not only those related to advertising) and include a short description and/or explanation of why I consider them to be myths.
This article is copyrighted by Rachel Sanfordlyn Shreckengast of GetFrugal.com and WedFrugal.com
A Diamond Is Forever - I'm sure you've seen the commercials that state "a diamond is forever". This simply isn't true. Diamonds are the hardest gems on the MOHS scale (at 10) and if they are set and cut correctly, it's very unlikely that they will break. This doesn't mean that diamonds don't break. While diamonds are a hard material, they can also be brittle. This is the result of something that is called perfect cleavage. Perfect cleavage means that the gem/stone has four directions of cleavage. If any of the four directions of cleavage happens to receive a blow, the diamond will split in that direction. A good cut and setting will cut down on this possibility, but it's simply not true that diamonds are forever. They can and do break.

If It's Under A Carat, Don't Wear It - This myth is societal in nature, but in a sense it's also an advertising myth. You see, an advertising campaign by De Beers (Harry Oppenheimer) and Gerold M. Lauck (of the N.W. Ayer advertising agency) decided that something had to be done in order to increase the demand for diamonds. One of the ways that they advertised diamonds was to cleverly place large diamonds into movies (and give them to various movie stars) and thereby start the myth that a bigger diamond was better and showed more love than another stone or a smaller diamond. Society took over from there and has continued the myth. If you look at this myth logically, you'll realize how truly ridiculous it actually is. If you read the last page of this article, you already know that size is the least important aspect of a diamond for most consumers. Many couples end up sacrificing quality for size and end up with a stone that has very little sparkle, fire and inner beauty. The truth of the matter is that it is not a diamond (of any size) that determines how valuable your partner finds you. It is actually the love of your partner for you that does so.

Spend Two Month's Salary - This myth states that you should spend two month's salary on a diamond for your partner. Most often, this little bit of advertising states something like "Isn't she worth two month's salary?". First of all, how much you love your partner has nothing to do with the size or price of the diamond. Let's look at this logically though. If you are making $40,000 a year, they want you to spend $6,667 (rounded up) on a ring. If you are making $20,000 a year, they want you to spend $3,334 on a ring. If you are living below poverty level (2002 figures state $11,940 for a couple) and are making $11,000 a year...they want you to spend $1,834 on a ring. To state it more simply, a diamond costing two month's salary is a diamond that is 1/6th of your entire yearly salary. According to these "guidelines", my $600 ring should have been purchased by someone making only $3,600 a year. That's only $300 a month or a $75 a week paycheck and that's gross wages. Now do you see how ridiculous spending 2 months salary on a ring is?
This article is copyrighted by Rachel Sanfordlyn Shreckengast of GetFrugal.com and WedFrugal.com
If It's Not A Big Diamond, He Can't Afford to Marry Her - This myth comes in many different forms. You might hear things like "Are you sure you guys can afford to get married", "where is it?", "it's so small!" and "You guys must be having financial difficulties". The message is the same with all of these (might I add, very rude) statements. In answer to this, I have only one question about status symbols in general. Would you rather have a nice house, a college education, a nice car, a nice wedding...or would you rather have a flashy ring? In my state (as of this writing), it would cost me between $25 and $40 to pick up a marriage license and I would give a justice of peace at least $50 to thank him/her for marrying me, which means that I could get married in my state for under $100, and I would be just as married as someone who wanted to spend thousands on their wedding. Another personal observation, we were able to afford our house YEARS earlier than we would have been able to had we spent the money on a flashy ring or an expensive wedding. Let's not ignore the fact that it's not always a man proposing to a woman. A woman can propose to a man...or another woman. A man can propose to a woman...or another man. This is another myth that should be looked at logically. Why in the world would someone think that you can afford a "nice" wedding if you spent all of the money on a ring? Doesn't it make more sense to assume that someone who didn't spend as much on the ring can afford a nicer wedding?

Only A Diamond Will Do - Some people don't like diamonds. Some people don't like wearing rings. Some people can not wear rings all of the time (I happen to be one of those people and in my case, it's due to carpal tunnel in my left hand). Some people can not wear rings at all because of allergies to certain metals (most gold rings are a combination of metals). Some people love the different colors of other gemstones. Some people like it plain and simple and prefer a gold band. You'll never know unless you ask. Besides, should we really listen to someone else (as in an advertising agency) when we know what we like and prefer? Only a diamond will do? Hardly.
This article is copyrighted by Rachel Sanfordlyn Shreckengast of GetFrugal.com and WedFrugal.com
Surprise Her With A Diamond - This myth is one of the subtlest and one of the easiest to fall for. Societally, we are conditioned to believe that a proposal should be a surprise. This whole idea is romanticized by movies, literature and the media. Surprise proposals are becoming more clever and more unique. By extension, the man (or woman, just who are they advertising to anyways!) often buys the engagement ring in secret as well. This advertisement encourages this and for good reason. I used to work as a "jewelry sales associate". Do you want to know who bought the most expensive rings? It was the people who wanted to surprise their partner, the people who didn't bother to research the subject and the people who needed the ring as soon as possible because they planned to surprise their partner within the next week (or month). The people who are selling you the rings don't have your best interests at heart, most of them work on commision and are trying to sell you the most expensive ring you will buy. They're very subtle as they point out this lovely ring that "would really impress her and her family!" or this ring that "will show her how much you love her" because it's so big and impressive. It's a high pressure sales tactic couched in the form of a societal belief and trust me when I tell you that you will spend more if you don't discuss, research your purchase and spend some time to figure out what you actually want to spend your money on. Take some time before making such a large purchase and you won't regret it.

You Must Have A Ring To Propose - I'd love to know the history of this particular myth as I haven't taken the time to research it. My guess is it's about half societal and half advertising myth. I've had a number of friends who have gotten engaged without a ring and the first thing they generally hear is "where's the ring?". When they explain that they aren't getting an engagement ring or that they will get one later, they hear "But you have to have a ring to be engaged!". The truth of the matter is that all you need is one person to propose and another to accept. To further express your desire to be married to one another, you should also announce your engagement to all friends and family. That's what you need to be engaged. You don't need a ring, and it's not a requirement that the judge or officiant see your engagement ring prior to marrying you. It's a nice symbol of intent, but that's all it is...a symbol. Other things can show your intent as well. For example, some couples prefer something built by hand (and generally to be used in the home) while others tend to prefer that the money be placed in a savings account to help pay for the wedding or a house. Everyone is different and though a ring is a nice symbol, it is by no means mandatory.
This article is copyrighted by Rachel Sanfordlyn Shreckengast of GetFrugal.com and WedFrugal.com
Only A Diamond Will Do - Lest you think otherwise by my rants in this article, I happen to like diamonds. That doesn't mean that everybody likes them or even wants them. Despite the fact that I like good diamonds, my personal preference is for a nice beryl, whether that comes in the form of an aquamarine (my birthstone), an emerald, a heliodor (yellow beryl), a morganite, a goshenite or even a very rare red beryl. Given the choice, I would rather have any of them over a diamond (which everyone has!). As for hardness, beryls are generally good choices for a ring because the hardness of the stones is usually between 7.5 and 8. Other people may prefer other stones over diamonds. For example, a nice corundum (ruby, sapphire) with a hardness rating of 9. Or perhaps a nice garnet (the green variety is called tsavorite garnet and has a gorgeous color to it). Of course, there's always the option of your birthstone. Many people prefer no stone at all and some people even prefer no ring. When you take all of these factors into consideration, it's pretty obvious that it's not true that "only a diamond will do". Diamonds aren't exactly the unique choice or the personalized one.

Pages In This Article: Pg 1: Preferences, Pg 2: Metals, Pg 3: The Four C's, Pg 4: Diamond Advertising Myths, Pg 5: Further Diamond Buying Resources

Best Wishes,
Rachel Sanfordlyn Shreckengast
06302002